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Losing & Powerlessnessthem

I look out at Hermits Peak in New Mexico glowing fantastically in early day light. I let my eyes relax. My natural gaze, not reaching or glazing, just my eyes relaxing on this vision, leaning my visual capacity against the beauty. The wind swirls around me, sweet with the rain that tamped down the dust yesterday. Having the morning quiet to feel my eyes look and see, because so often they scan what is there and trigger it into what isn’t there, or take a shard of something– a table edge or a pine tree, for instance — and turn it into another tree from another time, mixing the two trees into one tree rather than just seeing what is right there Read more

Extreme Self-Soothers

I’m heading west today, to the mesa, to my distant land where I work on the project of solitude. I almost can’t believe how much non-solitude my recent weeks have been. I’ve rarely been alone. My mother was terrified of being alone, of being quiet. I sat with her day after day, responding to her repetitions which came in spurts, breaking any train of thought I might be able to develop. This was the difficult part of her dementia for me. I never could find a stretch of time alone. Read more

Move with Me: Intuitive Flow ~ Dunya online in June

June is perfect for Intuitive Flow. Here are fresh new video sessions—one a week for four weeks—of beautiful, deep Dancemeditation for you to do anywhere on your time—using movement & writing to open the Mystery and take you to the creative, sustaining Well. Read more

Letting Go

I sit alone in the middle of the night in the living room of my parents’ house that is also the house where I grew up. I did my homework here, watched snow fall here, I ate meals, took baths, danced, and slept here. This house still smells of childhood, of woods fires and sea air. My parents will never come back to this house. I sit in my mother’s blue chair as if I might absorb a lingering presence of her body, but she is not here. She has been increasingly restless in her blue chair for the past two years as her dementia confused her, then sad and frenzied after Dad’s stroke.

Last week she sat in her chair and waited for him to come sit in his even though she knew, then forgot over and over, that he couldn’t ever sit there again. Read more

Yes…yes

My father sat on the edge of the bed as I hung a framed Maxfield Parrish print of ‘Daybreak’ on the wall at the foot of the bed. He was happy gazing at this dreamy scene of two nymphs in a temple with gilded mountains in the distance. Then I handed him a smooth pale gray and salmon stone I’d brought from the beach. He liked that too.

He is at a dreary, institutional nursing facility for the time being, confined to a locked wing so he won’t stress himself. (For previous post about my father’s aphasia: Five Things.) We have a way of talking now. Read more

Safety

I finally stole a moment for my practice today amidst the chaotic situation I currently and uncharacteristically inhabit. I was alone in the house for 30 blessed minutes. Music played. I danced. And I thought about safety. I had stolen time, yes, but the room was not entirely safe. My antennae pricked up for the return of a car. I didn’t want to drop too far in and be abruptly disrupted or, like a molting snake, be discovered in a soft open condition. Intrusion. Interruption—these are very treacherous for me. Read more

The Critic & The Well

Talking with my good friend and ‘artist date’, Alia Thabit, I found myself spouting vehemently about the three aspects of daily practice, which she titled three prongs. I love that word—prong. Here is how I see it. This applies to artists but can easily be configured for other disciplines, and is really about how we perform to the world. Read more

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Five Things

The hardest thing for me about this past week is starting a new life. I’ve gotten reasonably good at this in my own sphere—projects, locations, content, people—but returning to visit my parents in my childhood home has been, for better or worse, changeless. Today I sat with my father at Spaulding Rehab Hospital observing his speech therapy. He relearns the language of counting to 5. How to touch five blue wooden blocks and count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. How to look at the numeral ’5′ and say five. Sometimes the therapist puts two blue blocks on one side and five blue blocks on the other and holds up a piece of paper with the numeral ’5′ and says Which one is five? Read more

Couch Dance Video

This video is for Trish, who kvetched to me about not having the perfect space to do her practice. Hahahahah…

This from Eric:
“I appreciated the tip about “abandon the search for the perfect setup.” I’ve been using that as an excuse to procrastinate [about doing my practice.] I live in a small camper van 3 days a week, and the “setup” inside is anything but perfect for dancing! But last night I fired up your Week 1 video [Move with Me] on my Android phone inside the RV, and found myself flailing about happily in the limited space. Read more